The French

Mr Rude (Left)

This story really says all you need to know about the French. The Mr Men are back with an addition, Mr Rude who speaks with a French accent. It seems that he will encourage children to pull his finger which will make him break wind. The French embassy don't think it will help Anglo-French relations. But then again the fact that France exists doesn't help Anglo-French relations.

Which reminds me of this schoolboy howler:

Q. Why did de Gaulle have Greek letters on his cap?
A. Because he would have looked stupid with French letters on it.

Crewe and Nantwich Meetings

Bob Spink, UKIP's first MP, will be speaking at the Crewe Arms Hotel (opposite the station) on May 12 in support of our by-election candidate Mike Nattrass.

There will be a second public meeting on 19 May at Nantwich Town FC. The guest speaker will be Nigel Farage MEP, Party Leader. Both meetings begin at 7-30pm.

If you would like to help the campaign office is at 121 Nantwich Road, Crewe (1/2 mile from the station). Tel: 01270 211007.

Hard Labour in Crewe

Since the Labour Party so tastelessly called the Crewe and Nantwich by-election, even before the late Gwyneth Dunwoody has been buried, people have been trying to work out why they have acted with such speed.

One thought has crossed my mind. They knew they were in for a drubbing in the locals so that had no bearing, one way or the other, on the decision. They are also likely to lose the mayoral election in London, which may have more of a bearing on the decision to move the writ so quickly.

Labour HQ called for prospective candidates' CVs to be sent in by Thursday, the writ only being moved on Wednesday. The shortlisting is taking place today (Friday) with selection taking place on Saturday. Now is all this just a Machiavellian way to keep an unemployed, former London mayor from getting in there?

Police State

Police (left) arrest a postman for not wearing Post Office issue underpants.


The next time you are the victim of a crime that the police are so busy they can't respond to, consider this story. Then claim that you are reporting a postal worker who is not wearing Post Office issue shorts and they will be round in a flash.

Crewe and Nantwich

Here we go!

UKIP are fighting our first by-election in the North West since 2000, when I was the candidate in the Preston by-election. Despite the fact that Gwyneth Dunwoody, the deceased MP, has yet to be buried Labour yesterday called the by-election for May 22.

Town to Change Name?

When I saw that Lunt in Merseyside wanted to change it's name I wasn't surprised. The people of Southport also want out of Merseyside too.

But no, it's the name Lunt they want changing according to this story. It seems that vandals keep changing the signs to something rude.

The United Nations

If you still have any doubt that the UN is thoroughly corrupt and unreformable then please read this.

Time to abolish it or at least for the UK to withdraw.

US Election

I just had to nick the following from The Remittance Man. If you don't visit this blog, with lovely views too, then you really should.

A Dane’s view of the US elections

We in Denmark cannot figure out why you in the USA are even bothering to hold an election.
On one side, you have a bitch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, and a lawyer who is married to a bitch who is a lawyer.

On the other side, you have a true war hero married to a woman with a huge chest who owns a beer distributorship.

Is there a contest here?

Danes have always struck me as eminently perspicacious fellows.

Police State

Police (left) arrest a Londoner for having eyes too close together. Officer Dibble said: "He definitely looks like the type of person that might commit a crime one day!"

Yet another poor innocent is raided by the police at 3-00am, dragged down the nick and locked up for 11 hours. Eventually Officer Dibble blushes, apologises and sends the poor sod home.

Now, far from belittling theft of anything, but is it really necessary to raid the home of somebody suspected of nicking a telly at 3-00 in the morning? I grew up thinking that's the time you raid train robbers' houses, or IRA suspects. In a case such as this why not pop round his house in the afternoon for a chat and a cup of tea, a bit more Dixon of Dock Green than Sweeney. Sadly it seems that the police, with the help of 10 years of New Labour, have lost all sense of proportion. Or are they just a bunch of mindless bastards?